Fearless worker stands on the cables of the unfinished Golden Gate Bridge.

Here in the background of everything going on at Insanitek, life is a chaotic mess. My fiancé has carpel tunnel, and it’s impairing his ability to work at his day job. Luckily he just got offered a part time job at a job he really wants — even though it won’t help pay the bills even slightly. He’ll have to get another part time job to help bring up the slack if he wants to do it.

I’m all for him taking the shot. It would be like what I’m doing now: Working one job to help pay the bills while slowly building up Insanitek to it’s full glory. However, it doesn’t pay the bills very well either. So, I’m going to need another part time job as well — just to make sure we have a roof over our heads.

On top of this, we have to move. There is no debate about it since we’ve been dealing with constant floodings from broken pipes, drug deals, and violence in the neighbourhood.

This is what life is like. It’s a beautiful, messy, chaotic garden of choices.

Gardens are temperamental, ever changing, and both delicate and hardy at the same time. The key is to have the right plants in the right conditions to thrive. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just adequate. The light, soil, and water can all have a range of values, but the key is just being “enough” for the particular species of plant.

Over time the plants will grow, use the soil nutrients, and their needs will change. But you can’t keep them in a seedling pot forever, nor will the conditions always be just adequate enough. And when those conditions are no longer conducive to growth? First step is to fertilise and tend to it for a while longer hoping it will come back. If it doesn’t, you move the unhappy plant to a new place.

We people are like that. We thrive under certain conditions for so long, then slowly the light begins to change. Or maybe it’s the environment (soil for a plant). We see things a different way, our bodies give us pretty obvious signs of distress, and we stop feeling it’s adequate. We stop thriving — and it’s time to move on.

This is where you pivot.

You can look at it this way: You’ve got nothing to lose, so why not take a calculated risk and turn in a different direction that could open new doors of opportunity?

This is where you look at what you have, where you want to be, and look for a way to bridge that distance. Then, you do the unthinkable when you’re scared. You start walking across that bridge — even if it isn’t finished.

If you stop to think about it too hard, you’ll freeze up. Instead, take the first step. Say yes to the dreams, and figure out the details around it.

In our case this means that if all else fails, I apply for SNAP and TANF to help ends meet. But until then, we both hustle and things will work out. When you are faced with a similar situation, take a few steps back from it before you analyse. The perspective helps you figure out the different ways in and out of things, gives you hope, and gives you more tools to finish the bridge as you get there. It’s slow going, but at least it’s going in the direction you choose.

And that garden? It’s thriving every step of the way because you’re tending it. 

Only rarely does life’s garden have brilliant rainbows to chase.