We’ve all heard of the concept of “paying it forward”. Some heard about it from countless self-help books, others from the film Pay It Forward, or if you’re earning your accolades, you’ve heard about it from the original source, In the Garden of Delight by Lily Hardy Hammond. It’s concept is that instead of paying someone back for something kind, you pay it forward to another person that needs it.

Most self-help books recommend paying it back after you receive. I didn’t think anything of this concept because I don’t necessarily believe in altruism for the sake of altruism. If one were selfless all the time, then it would be difficult for them to take care of themselves. There are countless psychological studies out there showing this is a mere fact of our psyche, and that if we try to persist in putting others before ourselves 100% of the time, we eventually break. After all, we are mere mortals, and not even close to saint-like.

Moderation, as always, is key.

In Aristotle’s world, as well as in ours, there is such a thing as excess. When it comes to altruism and giving, we can practise excess by filling our dockets so much that we don’t have time to do everything we want. (Um, guilty as charged.) It literally looks like you have to put “shower” on your schedule, otherwise you’ll forget. It looks like you have to pencil in sleep in order to keep that up as well. This might work in an emergency, but it’s not sustainable for the long run. We all know this, which is why it’s “safe” to be a little self-centred.

It’s normal to have a built-in stopping point. At least if you are, indeed, human. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

But here’s some food for thought for you: Pay it forward… FIRST. 

 This concept was brought to my attention by Andrew McDonald, founder of Possess Your Success. In his book, Possess Your Success (soon to be released as a Kickstarter campaign), he mentions this novel idea of paying it forward first in order to help others out of iffy situations, make a truly awesome impact in someone’s life, and generally make the world a better place. This concept is idealist, yes, but it’s also practical when you are just starting out.

When you volunteer and help out others at a lesser cost, you have the opportunity to tweak your system, perfect your offerings, and network while you’re paying it forward. The goodwill you show towards others will also reflect back in your work — if you let it.

I’m not saying you should give away your work for free. You have to pay bills as well, and as far as I’m concerned, that comes first. However, while you are paying your bills, offer a discount for families in need, scholarships for those that really need a good lift, and pro bono work for your favourite charity is all part of the philanthropy that you can do right away versus “sometime when you’re rich”. During that time, you’ll network like crazy, find like-minded people, be able to feel good about yourself, have lots of experience and people who adore you for you (and the fact that you helped them out of a bind), and realise your business is growing by leaps and bounds.

No, it’s not just pretty words.

It may seem like a lot of pretty words and promises trying to get you to do good, but really, paying it forward first can really make an impact. And, I can even show you an example from Insanitek’s not-so-distant past.

I love tutoring. I love seeing the looks on people’s faces when they make a connection and really start to get a concept and how that concept works in meat space (the real world for those of you that don’t Geek Speak). However, I’m really busy. There is not an evening I’m home — I’m usually tutoring or teaching evening classes at the community college. And, during the day I’m either in the lab, working on administrative stuff, or working with clients. I command a minimum of $30/hour for an hour of my time and expertise. Despite of this, I make sure that I give one hour a week away for free(out of 10) for a student in need. The slots are filled on a first come, first serve basis, and it’s by word of mouth referral only.

This free hour usually has people lined up for it. I have earned more clients through this method than any other, and they usually stick around to become permanent paying clients. I didn’t do it as a marketing scheme, though. I did it because I have been there. I have been that student that had to choose between sleep and extra study time in case it made a difference, but also between work and study — one would allow me to eat the next week, the other would allow me to pass the class. I wanted to make a difference for someone else so they didn’t have to make those decisions just one week — maybe more.

Paying it forward first really works. Try it and make a difference in both your world and theirs.