Owning a business is not all glory, despite what the socials would have you believe. For every InstaGood pic you see, for every happy Facebook post, for every smile you see there is always the side you don’t. Nothing is Pinterest Perfect all the time.

You’d be surprised how many people are deluded into believing only what they see on social media about it.

Somehow the behind the scenes doesn’t seem to exist for them. I’ve heard kids and adults alike exclaim how they are going to be the next big consultant. They think that just out of the gate they can charge $100 or more an hour to order people around from the comfort of their pajamas, and they will be well-known within moments.

Then, the first social media post that goes up, unnoticed, they are crushed.

There is always the side to the story you never hear.

You don’t hear the fights between T and I about where we are going to live. You don’t hear the struggles of making a dollar stretch that much further. The students won’t hear about my sleepless nights worrying how we can stretch the budget to help yet another freelancer get their feet into the world. The freelancers won’t hear my heart breaking when I can’t get more of a budget so they can pay their bills easier. My fiancé doesn’t hear me complain about how much time I waste on machine maintenance a week ─ all in the name of keeping the cycle going just a little longer.

And then you have the people who glorify hustling.

Pick your quote. They’re pretty much all the same.

I love Gary V and his message of hustle. It’s the direct opposite of the InstaGood pictures of Consultant X’s vacation pictures. It’s a bit more honest about what running a business is like ─ especially one that is in the beginning stages of life. I’ve seen parts of his audience alternating between trying to sell people the hustle, selling random things, and enjoying their vacations. They seem to like it.

Frankly, I lived like that for years just struggling to either pay rent or eat more than one can of stew a day.

Yes, you read that right. Either I paid rent or I ate more than one tin of food a day. I had one can of soup, stew, or something equivalent a day. Nothing more. I just couldn’t afford it.

And yes, this was for years. 7 years, give or take a few months.

This hustle, hustle, hustle is exhausting. You don’t see the what happens when they hit a wall. You won’t see the desperation and crying. That doesn’t lend to the “toughness in hustle” persona they’ve embraced. But those days are there.

Very few people believe in you until you succeed.

Even the people who have your back most of the time. Friends will wonder why you can’t come out to play, family will ridicule you at gatherings, even significant others will occasionally lose their cool ─ especially when finances are involved.

I couldn’t tell you how many times T and I fight about responsibilities. I could outline it all, but you’d take it the wrong way. While he works the 9 – 5 and carries the provider role, he doesn’t always treat me like a housewife. (Sometimes he does when he’s on the lazier side, but meh, that’s human nature.) The disagreements come about when we try to figure out if we are going to be able to pay a student loan, eat, or fix the breaks on the car this month. Then the insinuations of “getting a real job” start coming out.

In his frustration he forgets that I work 18 hours a day, 7 days a week. The only time I take off is forced family holidays. And some of that time is as an adjunct professor down at Brigthwood Community College ─ a “real job.” And I take care of most things around the house.

This give and take with frustration sprinkled in is a norm for those building a business.

The roller coaster ride goes through cycles depending on your needs, expectations, and demands of the world. I’ve been dealing with it for so long I’m able to predict the ups and downs based on sales and bills. I can’t predict the loops and drops because they come (seemingly) out of nowhere. For example, I didn’t see the court order for wage garnishments coming at T which would impact all our finances. Talk about stress of trying to keep things under control. And the fights? Still mumbling we’re sorry at each other.

Here’s where I’m supposed to say something motivational. The first thing that comes to mind is a saying military NCOs like to say: