I recently read a book called Learning Habits by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and colleagues. There are lots of good points to this book that, if taken to heart, can give you an idea and plan on how to best help your kids make learning a life-long habit, not just a “thing” you do to get by. “Simple” things, like limiting media consumption, creating rules for them to follow, and giving them responsibility for certain aspects of their life. These are things parents should naturally be doing, so it isn’t like it’s too much of a stretch — unless you have been lackadaisical about things and letting the kids get away with, well, everything.

This book is written by psychologists who also happen to be parents, not educators who happen to be parents. This gives it a unique view on behavioural problems that make it useful for parents and educators. Despite of all the glowing things I can say about the book and the methods it champions, I can also find fault with one thing they press: The restraint of teaching your own children, or helping other’s children, learn materials.

Not all learners are created equal. Not all educators can educate them all.

Hint: This doesn’t give you very much credit in the way of being knowledgeable.

We all know what it feels like to be hopelessly lost on a topic as someone is explaining it. You know it when you were nodding, smiling, and working your way through the test feeling like you “got this”, but when it comes back, you see all the red marks. It’s a shock through your system because during class you thought you really got it. During the exam you weren’t hesitant.

It’s also the feeling of your eyes glazing over when a colleague explains something to you, but all you hear is the “wha wha wha” like the teacher from Charlie Brown constantly bleating on. You’re trying to get what they are saying, but it’s just not making sense. No matter how hard you try to catch and keep up, you’re already lost.

Those feelings are the ones that everyone goes through when the teacher is not right for the student. Perhaps what you need is for them to go over it in a different way, use different words, or even a different technique. Some times lectures work, sometimes they need a mind map made out for them showing how the little things connect. Not every teacher can do what every kid needs in the time allotted or even special sessions.

That’s why tutors exist — to help people when needed.

Tutors exist in the form of a former teacher, a helpful friend that gets it (and gets you), an expert in the field, or even a relative that gets the topic and can explain it in a way that the student understands. Their role in all this is to act as the bridge from the teacher (or book) to the student and facilitate learning in a way that the person gets it.

And sometimes it really helps when they don’t have layers of training and pedagogy in the way.

Formal training to teach is an amazing process. I should know, I’ve been through it both on the teaching side, as well as on the student side. They teach you how to teach in a very structured, formulaic way. They teach you how to get the most out of repetition, gamification, and other methods to drill facts into the head. Then, they teach you how to analyse a test so you can see if your students are actually learning anything. Some of it works, some of it doesn’t work as efficiently, but they stick with it because “they know what’s best for the majority of the students”.

And, sure, for the majority of the students it may work, but not for all of them.

But not just any tutor will do. 

Don’t be afraid to learn to think for yourself, either.

As a person that has extreme ADHD and has been unmedicated their entire life, I know that not just any ol’ tutor will do. The student needs to align with the teacher. If the student is super serious and need a lot of structure, that is what type of teacher they should go for. They are looking for a way to make that structure exist while the explanation or methodology is given. If the student is wild and needs an energy outlet during the sessions, they should look for a teacher that integrates more hands on activities, not sitting still and listening patiently.

It goes without saying, but it is also wise to seek out knowledgeable people in the field you wish to be taught (or have your kids tutored in). There is a high degree of ignorance in the world, and even those that claim to be experts can be misleading. It’s a tricky world to navigate out there, so once you, as the student or parent of a student find a tutor, it’s always worth double checking things and keeping your mind open to further learning.

This further learning, I believe, is also part of what The Learning Habit tries to set people up with: a skill they can use for life. It’s a good book that’s worth reading whether you are a student, educator, or parent, but remember, even these researchers may not have all the answers. For that, you should either do your own research or find a tutor.

You can read a full review of The Learning Habit here, if you are interested.