There is no doubt about it, I’m an introvert by nature. Ask anyone that is familiar with me. I don’t go out very often, I prefer quiet environments, and close friendships over a party. I can’t remember the last time I perused social media for any more than 3, and that’s only when I get emails stating that I need to go check something. Worst of all, I live on the same side of town as Meg, a good friend of mine, but I don’t make the bike ride over to visit once in a while — that would mean I have to put down the book I was reading. (Lucky for me, she understands.)

So, how, with all my introverted tendencies do I manage to single-handedly run this startup? It’s a fair question, and the other day at a local mentorship programme, I was prompted to answer at the drop of a hat.

Introversion is NOT a weakness. Pardon me if I seem defensive if you imply that, but I’ve gotten a little sick of that spoon-fed nonsense. Being an introvert does not mean there is something off, weird, anti-social, or any of those other negative terms that people use with association with introversion.

In fact, being introverted is my superpower.

Yep. That’s right. A superpower.

 I’m able to get as much done as I do because I’m not a social butterfly. I can say:

• I’ve travelled to x location for field work
• Gone to x conference in y country to present
• I’ve read a bunch of books recently
• I’ve on top of the latest research in my field, news, or world events
• I’m working on….

In other words, I am the amazing person that every one has said lives an interesting life because I’m introverted. I routinely duck parties to spend evenings at home studying, teaching myself a foreign language, or just hanging out with a few close friends. I dodge lunch time gatherings to write proposals, grants, and stories. In the mornings you’ll find me reflecting my daily to-do list over coffee rather than hanging at Starbucks. Some people say that’s boring — until they find out that I’m packing for a trip overseas to do archaeology in the Turkish mountains, Siberia, or other novel location. I had to work hard for those grants that would take me there so I can play in the dirt. 🙂

I often step out of my comfort zone.

Someone slightly more introverted than I am might react like this.

Granted, there are different types of introversion. I’m not afraid of people. When someone walks up to me at a social event, I look them in the eyes, greet them warmly, and proceed to try to know everything about them while rarely talking about myself.

Admittedly, this confuses people. I then get invited to social events, but I rarely go. I just don’t have the emotional energy for it. I used to try to make excuses, but they were always very lame.

• We had a surprise homework assignment
• I got called into work.
• I had to stay after work.
• I forgot about a family gathering. 
• I’m not feeling well.

I finally tried honesty.

I got annoyed with the lame excuses and started say, “I’m sorry to have mislead you. While I’m interested in going, I’m an introvert. I’m pretty drained after today, so I really want to stay home tonight and recharge. Can I take a rain check for another time when I’m feeling more social?”

Needless to say, they were taken aback by my honesty. In the 3 years or so I’ve been honest with myself and others, I’ve rarely heard a negative response. Admittedly, more than a few whiny people saying they wanted to get to know me better, but alas, they had no patience for me, nor I for them. I view this as a shame because they were likely good people, just very needy and impatient in a time when I could not give.

I found, rather by accident, that people appreciate the honesty. They no longer took my silences at a negative sign, they weren’t offended when I declined an invitation to a social outing — and sometimes they picked up on my more social days and invited me out then with a small group of friends, and people were generally more comfortable around me and my “eclectic moods”. I also found that many extroverted people started defending me when others were talking about me behind my back. I went from being “super weird” to “refined and reserved”.

This holds true in business as well.

Most people think of business people as the fast talking, out going superman (or woman). Yes, they exist, but in my experience they are a rarity. Many of my colleagues are just as introverted as I am. Some more so, some less. All of us embrace who we are for our individual strengths and weaknesses. We then seek partnerships that help us shore up our weaknesses.

I use my superpower in business.

I found that using my superpower in business was quite easy. I’ve always been a huge fan of kicking back and listening to people, then helping them solve their problems. It turns out that while this is an introverted trait, it also happens to be my strength in business. I really listen to people. I listen to the way they describe their problems, the context, and their story. I let them know I am listening by the questions I ask in return. Only after I have the whole story do I start proposing solutions, and they are never boxed solutions. I do not treat the clients as a one size fits all case, and they know that.

My advice to introverted people wanting to go into business is this:

• Remember that being introverted is not a disease. There is nothing wrong with you.
• Be honest with yourself and others. By extension, seek out those that have the patience to meet you halfway.
• Step slightly outside your comfort zone from time to time — it will help you grow and learn new things.
• Embrace your strengths, then shore up your weaknesses with a partner that respects and understands you.

Resources

If you’re an introvert struggling with being introverted, you should reach out. I’d be more than willing to help you accept yourself, give the world a nod, and courage to go about making your life your own. But, that would mean that you’d have to get past your own wall to ask. Barring that, here are a few resources for you that I’ve picked up along the way that you might find interesting.

Slide show: Your Guide to Interacting with an Introvert helped me explain to people what I needed from our time together. It also helped them to become more comfortable around me and not take offence to my “self-absorbed” behaviour to the point they stopped thinking I was snobbish and calling me names.

Featured image found on Spectra-Events.com, Networking Tips for Introverts