Hurry up and wait.
Once again my life is in a huge transitional phase, and I’m biding my time to figure out what happens next. I’ve never been good at this hurry up and wait game. I want answers now so I can plan ahead and take action. Instead, I’m day job hunting again while my time at the Rosie’s Garden runs out. At least I had an interview as an “adjunct professor” at Kaplan College this week, but I know it won’t pay the bills. I tutor on my days off, which I love, but again, it won’t pay the bills. Neither, even when put together, won’t pay the bills. I won’t have any evenings free to spend with my fiancé because I’m busy chasing that dollar in order to pay a little more of the bills.
I went to school for archaeology; hunting for jobs wasn’t covered in the curriculum.
So I hurry up to fill out questionnaires, send out my CV, write cover letters stating my case, and wait. It’s not the waiting that gets me, it’s the time wasted on filling out useless job hunts that bothers me. Why should I waste time on writing someone a perfectly crafted cover letter only to be ignored by someone they already have in mind because of their personal, secret network?
Indeed, why should any of us play this game?
As far as I know, this is the same game all of us with the misfortune of not having been born into a rich life have to deal with. It’s not that we can’t work our way out of it, nor that life is “unfair”. It’s perfectly normal that those of us that have little money and fewer upper crust societal contacts have to play this game where we hurry up… and then wait.
The thing that we often don’t see in this game are all the new opportunities that may lie ahead. It’s not just about the paycheck, it’s about building new skills, enhancing old ones, and extending your network. It’s not about the lack of free time to spend with your friends and loved ones, it’s about building something for the future. We make choices on what we accept, and where we draw the lines on what we are willing to do for that dollar.
We control how we play the game.
For example, no one forced me to be a stripper when I first moved out of my mother’s house. I chose that path myself because I wanted the money quicker in order to follow a path I dreamed of. We draw lines at what we are willing to do, then pick and choose accordingly. There are some, like my fiancé, who have forgotten temporarily that they do have control over their lives. He feels trapped in his current job because for him, the effort he would need to put forward to find a better paying, easier job would be too much. He is making that choice to choose an easier path rather than fighting the uphill battle to the future he dreams of. To him, right now in the space that he is at, going to work every day and coming home every night and exhaustedly playing video games is all he’s willing to do. Anything beyond the basics is just “too much” for him.
Why? Why is it that some people seem to have and do it all, while others barely limp through day after day?
To be honest, it’s not an easy question to answer. Every person and situation is different. There is no magic formula, secret drink, or pill that one can take to make their life easier. It takes dedication, hard work, sacrifices, and a lot of effort. It takes finding your own personal balance of things — then kicking the status quo to shake things up a bit. No one can do it for you, just point out little things that you might do, sacrifice, or help reaffirm the dedication once in a while.
I, personally, change my life day in and day out by sacrificing things like gaming and TV time to work on my company. This is a concession I’m willing to make because to me, the freedom of running my own company means more to me than the instant gratification of a game. So, in the evenings I often fluctuation between working with my tablet on the couch next to my fiancé making workshops, classes, or worksheets for my students and working on my computer in the office when I need something else. I work on the couch because that’s part of the evening ritual and “family time” in this house. He gets to play his video games, while I get to work on my company.
The secret formula is a little bit of work every night.
The secret, it turns out, for my particular situation is working a little bit every night. It’s not one extra day, but just a couple hours every night while sitting on the couch during “family time”. It is a concession that I make while I bootstrap and work the company up from the ground. Every. Single. Night. Doing so allows the company to grow incrementally towards it’s weekly, then monthly goals. The secret formula, then, is a system. You can make your own by doing the following:
- Acknowledge that change comes from modifying your own behaviours, not someone else’s.
- Decide on a goal.
- Decide that you want to change, and you are willing to make the commitment to it.
- Decide what activity or habit you can give up at least one night a week.
- Develop a plan that will allow you to reach your goal with baby steps.
- Replace the activity or habit with something that drives you forward towards your goals.
Do this repeatedly, and eventually you will see the change in your life you wish to see. It takes time, patience, dedication, and stubbornness. It also takes effort. In the last 7 years since dreaming up Insanitek, I have learnt the greatest lesson of all:
You are bigger than the habits that hold you back.
Changing your habits to create a future you want is similar to dieting. You have to do it yourself. You can get a coach, order all the supplies you need, take classes for this or that, or any number of tricks. You’ll fall off the bandwagon, get back on it, then fall off again. In the end, though, it comes down to mindset. You have the power it takes to make the change in your own life, no matter if that step is large or small. No matter if your steps are haltingly zombie like from time to time, either. What matters is that you take the time to reassess where you are at currently, compare it to where you want to be, and make the changes necessary to move toward that goal. Every day is a period of transition and a chance to tweak the path you’re on.
Over to you:
Where do you see yourself in the future? What is holding you back? And what habit can you start changing today to make that change happen? Give a shout out in the comments to inspire yourself and others.
