Week 3 is upon the crafting an effective writer course, and it’s as dull as last week. The first two module sections covered subject and verb parts of speech again. I think I much preferred the “snippy snippy” method from when I was a child to this. It’s much more constructive, fun, and I don’t spend nearly as much time drooling on myself in hopes the end is nigh. After all, what kid doesn’t like wielding a pair of scissors and cutting out all the words on a page to glue them back together again in any order they choose?
Alas, this is an online course, and there is no teacher to check my glued-to-perfection work. It’s bound to be much more boring. This week’s writing journal has the following assignment as it’s closure to subjects and verbs:
Observe a scene where people are interacting. You might choose a restaurant or a shopping mall. Sporting events and parks are also good places to observe people. Write 5-6 sentences describing this scene and underline the subjects of your sentences. Write a few sentences experimenting with using different types of pronouns from the tables in Unit 3. You will want to keep all of these sentences at hand as you do the writing activities for this unit.
Is that all? OK. This is going to be another slight work of fiction since I don’t see many people interacting through my window at a lonely, dark 0600. In fact, all I see are cars going by occasionally and a dirty street lamp. So, I’m going to take a scene from last night and describe the interactions between Richard Hammond and others on his journey to describe engineering connections that were used to create the Millau Bridge. You can even watch it for yourself here:
The scene I’m specifically describing starts at 43.46 and goes to 45.50.
Original — 6 sentences describing the scene, using explicit nouns.
Richard Hammond wants to explain how the giant split structures on the Millau Bridge allow it to withstand thermal expansion. This part of the structure is located all the way at the top of the bridge and is accessible from the access tunnel that is located just beneath the bridge deck. Hammond’s guide, the lead engineer of the bridge, leads Hammond down a ladder that leads to tiny inspection platform. Hammond, quite understandably, is a bit nervous about the sheer height. Not even two steps down, his voice quavers and he emits a high pitched nervous laugh. His film crew laughs at his discomfort and encourages — or rather chides — Hammond into continuing down. Once Hammond is on the inspection platform, his guide explains how this split allows room for the thermal expansion to move the bridge deck. Hammond quite plainly tells him that he would have been much happier hearing all of it when they weren’t a quarter of a kilometre in the air.
Rewritten with nouns, and yes, I’m aware that it sounds awful this way.
- He, quite understandably, is a bit nervous about the sheer height.
- His film crew laughs at his discomfort and encourages — or rather chides — him into continuing down.
- Once he’s on the inspection platform, his guide explains how this split allows room for the thermal expansion to move the bridge deck.
There, “a few” sentences have been rewritten with pronouns by my reckoning. They don’t sound as bad as I imagine when taking them out of context.
Although I tried to make the first part interesting to both myself and any reader that happens upon this way, the second part of the writing assignment is similarly boring. Check it out:
In your journal, continue your observations of the scene observed in journal 1. Note several vivid action verbs that you have already used. Revise some of your sentences using action verbs and/or write 2-3 new sentences with action verbs. Try not to use any of the forms of “to be” (is, are, was, etc.). Underline the action verbs in your sentences. Again, you will want to keep all of these sentences at hand as you do the peer reviewed writing at the end of the unit.
- Richard Hammond needs to explain the giant split structures on the Millau Bridge allow it to withstand thermal expansion.
- Hammond nervously emits a nervous laugh and his voice quavers.
- Once Hammond arrived on the inspection platform, his guide explains the that the split allows for thermal expansion.
Asleep yet? I wish I was. If this is any example of how boring learning can get, I’m surprised more people don’t have poor grammar skills. I think while I drag myself off to read about terminal punctuation, voice and tense, you guys should help me by sending me links or ideas to your favourite ways to teach this topic. Here are two ideas to get you started:
Spelling Tic-Tac-Toe Practise (with sentence practise)
